U.N. goes buggy with food report

May 13, 2013

waspOverweight Americans fighting the battle of the belt bulge should be exploiting a new dietary weapon: bugs.

That’s according to the United Nation’s Food and Agriculture Organization, which has issued a lengthy report concluding that everyone should be including more insects in their diets.

“Insects are healthy, nutritious alternatives to mainstream staples such as chicken, pork, beef and even fish,” the report argues.

They are easy to grow and harvest, according to the report, and provide a sustainable way to provide protein to a growing population without contributing to any carbon footprint.

The report mentions “Western reluctance” to partake in culinary delights like fried slug, firefly fritters, and stewed scorpion, but also notes that 2 billion people worldwide incorporate some kind of insect in daily diets.

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There has always been something about the UN that really bugs me…now I know what it is.


Uh, I’ll give you a “7” for your comic relief. You can thank me later.

For the amount of money we waste being poured into the UN every year (22,000% of their annual budget), one would think they would be concentrating on more logical and positive endevors.

Not to mention in order to take in enough calories based on my size, age and body type, I would need to be ingesting 2200 calories daily on average, 2800 when working hard and even 1800 if I wanted to lose extreme weight.

That a big ole pile of bugs…

Well, since they do support buggery, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/17/un-gay-rights-protection-resolution-passes-_n_879032.html) this would be the next logical step.

You seem to know a lot about this, spend some time on it and all (not talking about delicious bugs).

That was deep, pick that up in the school yard did ya’?

Theo P. Neustic,

What would be even more apropos is the buggering of innocent children by their pastors and priests that the churches have let happen for a long time without any recourse whatsoever. That is, until their flocks had enough!


In a true Christian way, eating insects is godly condoned. “Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.” (Genesis 9:3)

Barring the fact that the bible God allows insects to eat, the key words to the above passage is “Everything that lives…”, and that includes your children. Cannibalism of children is biblically dictated from the inspired word of the Hebrew-Christian God, praise!

“With their own hands compassionate women have cooked their own children, who became their food when my people were destroyed.” (Lamatations 4:10)

This is cute, the bible God condones cannibalism of innocent children again, especially in the case of parents not obeying God’s commands, at which, He will curse you. Upon said curse, after He allows your enemy to siege upon you in the following situation, He says that you will have to eat your children to basically survive.

“Because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the Lord your God has given to you.” (Deuteronomy 28:53-54)

There is no insidious “interpretation” needed pertaining to the above literal biblical passages, as historically intended.

Soups on!

Sadly, this is exactly what happened when Stalin & the godless Soviet Empire starved the Ukrainians (i.e. Голодомор – Holodomor, 1932-33) and around 20 million were ultimately killed. A few reverted to cannibalizing their own children. Hooray marxist/communist implementation! Yay! (My biggest problem here, is I am not taking things out of context nor reading into anything with my own theories or petty ideologies). See, Ted, anyone can be an ass… granted, you’ve got it down to an art.

So we can take a story about eating insects and completely derail the topic! Praise for stupidity!


As before, you never seem to grasp the nexus of my biblically backed posts relative to the story. You see, it’s simple in this case because if one can eat insects, that to many is disgusting, but is biblically vouchsafed, then biblically within the same vein, one can also eat their children as well for further dinner suggestions. It’s all within context by eating things that are horrific to some within our culture, but at the same time, the bible condones. Get it? Huh?

The only stupidity whatsoever is your lack of understanding in how I can connect the CCN stories to biblical doctrine and axioms. Please, don’t hold me responsible for your lack of acumen regarding this blatant fact, but blame yourself, okay? Thanks.

Thank you God for letting me use this appropriate passage against r0y because of his Devil Speak to try and quash your word; to wit: “When arguing with fools, be sure to answer their foolish arguments, or they will become wise sin their own estimation” (Proverbs 26:5)

What?! Calling me an @sss too? “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11-12)

Seriously r0y stop dragging the red scare into every story.

You are right, I should not bring up the realities of centralized bureaucracies or Socialist/Communist history when speaking about the UN. What was I thinking?

Actually, I should have been slapped for “feeding the troll” – of that, I am guilty. Sorry all.

I hate to break it to ya rOy, but Ted’s satire is far more interesting & witty than your quotidian and boilerplate postings. It’s at least original.

Why are christians (and muslims) so insecure & defensive about their religion? Is it because they are relatively young religions and are still acting out their adolescence?

I mean, i know what my belief system is, and if someone laughed at it, or mocked it, or satirized it or drew a cartoon, i couldn’t care less.

Soviet era Russia? Really?I know the GlennBeck/AnnCoulter crowd is obsessed with Stalinism and Nazism, but, they are two local temporal/spatial specific cultural systems that don’t exist anymore!

The cicadas on the east coast are about to come up out of the ground after 17 years, and apparently they are better than shrimp, I have arranged for a friend in New York to ship me some on ice when they start coming out.

I’d bet that there will be more big money to be made in the food from bugs market.

Like worms in candy, hotlix.