San Luis Obispo Police are searching for two men who robbed the Check and Go at 3970 Broad Street at gunpoint.
The masked men demanded cash from an employee at the Check and Go at about 5:30 p.m. The two men, described as black men in their 20s, fled the business on foot with an undisclosed amount of cash.
Many with a background of social welfare are too free, street wise, and self justified to do whatever they want to do.
What ever given will never satisfy them??? What could or would satisy them!
Are the whites their worst enemy or are they their own worst enemy
(answer is of course the make up of the minds involved, it could be bothe or neither)
One thing for sure, their victims are not limited to whites nor blacks!
Whatever the rationale or justification, its all BS.
I believe these two robbers had a getaway driver who was NOT black and possibly not male as they hit in the trunk of a car. (Street wise)
There has NOT been any race on the planet earth that has not been oppressed!
Interestingly (observation) I have spoken to survivors who have been robbed, both shot and not shot by guns. The ones who cooperated and surrendered their wallets that were shot mentioned that the robber was either very nervous and excited. The ones that were not shot noticed that the robber was intense and only a little nervous. Myself having been shot at on four occasions in the past (knock on wood, never hit) by individuals who I regard were in hyperactive state.
I am glad that the employees at Check and Go surrender their money and the robbers did not shoot anyone.
I am sort of at the opinion that if a robber or anyman with a gun (except a mental case) if less hyper or nervous will tend to be more in control overall and not shoot.
But if I see the person pointing a gun being very nervous and in an excited or hyper state (being in less control of him/her self and the situation), s/he is more like to pull the trigger even when it was unnecessary.
Just a collective observation
Bad economy, or drugs, or gang, anything else outside of that and you’ll be called a racist, thats how it is, and they know it, and so does everyone else!
Seems like a preponderance of these hard crimes are committed by men in their 20s. Perhaps we need to crank up our fearometer on that subset of the population.
Save your children from a life of crime…spank them when they need it! Spank, not beat. If we don’t like how our young people are turning out, we have only ourselves to blame. We can’t spank them, send them to their room as this will cause emotional distress, or (and this is the icing on the cake) annoy them! Sheesh. Granted there are alot of good kids out there with terrific parents, but you must wonder what the world is going to look like in 25 years when these techno-gimme-itsallaboutme-gotohell-seriouslyyoucan’tdoathingtome kids are running our country. I hope to be wrong.
Danika, Jeez sweetie, these dudes weren’t white cul-de-sac kids like in your neighborhood, they were black guys with all the crazy pressures involved living in an oppressive white world filled with drugs, movie & video violence. My question is what’s an illegal Latino’s excuse? Give the black guy his job and he won’t have to stick a gun in your daughter’s face who’s working late trying to get thru school.
“Give the black guy his job and he won’t have to stick a gun in your daughter’s face who’s working late trying to get thru school.”
Along with the job, you might as well give him a baby momma and large family too. Then we can sit back and gamble on which one he will run out on first. My money is on the job, because baby momma and family is worth welfare.
Our son has never been spanked. We respect him. We have clear expectations and have taken the time to teach him how to meet those expectations. We listen to him, and he listens to us. He’s a happy, funny kid who has never been a problem, gets straight A’s and is truly a joy to be around. He respects others, is compassionate, and loves life and learning.
Spanking is *not* needed to raise a good human. Affection, respect, time and attention are.
NuttyBuddy, Not all kids are that easy. They are not born with a blank slate, they have inherent traits and some are just prone to melt downs no matter how they are raised. There clearly are children with loving patient parents that need to be spanked. I’ve seen good parents attempt to call a time out and the child refuses to sit in a chair, I’ve seen these same type of children sent to their room and they tear the room apart and kick at the door. No they don’t need ADD medication, they need a spanking. Like danika said, not a beating but a spanking. It gets their attention.
At the same time, I agree that many children never need that kind of discipline but when all reason fails, slap their butts and show them what respect for rules is all about before they end up in prison.
That’s pure bull.
Nobody “needs” to be hit.
There are plenty of ways to reach children, even “difficult” children, that don’t involve hitting them, or isolating them.
I’ve worked with hundreds of kids and NEVER “needed” to hit a single one.
Sorry, but spanking is done by people who don’t have enough tools in their parenting tool boxes. There’s always a reason for the behavior. Spending the time to figure it out will bring the answer to how to address it.
If spanking worked, you’d only “have to” do it once and never need to again, right?
Communicating, educating, showing compassion, and seeking understanding from the first day of a child’s life is essential and brings the best results.
How can we use violence to teach that violence is not the answer?
You just went from telling us all about your one child to now saying :
“I’ve worked with hundreds of kids and NEVER “needed” to hit a single one.” Perhaps the reason you didn’t have to hit a single one is because they aren’t your children and you can unload them at the end of the day or session. So tell me, what do you have in your tool box for a child that kicks, bites other children and refuses to take time out or go to their room?
What do you do with a teenager that tells you they are going out tonight and where they go is none of your business and then leaves when they are grounded? Call the police so social services can place them in a foster home where no one cares what they do? Please share your tool box.
Those are good questions.
I guess, since we’re talking about how to handle one’s own child, I’d ask how the relationship got to the place where this is how the involved parties communicate.
The sad truth is, it’s much harder to repair a relationship than to nurture one mindfully.
It’s kind of like a garden. When you ignore the unwanted seeds that get scattered, they germinate. If you let them grow and then try to just mow them down, the roots remain. If you let them grow to the point that they reseed themselves before you deal with it, pulling that big weed doesn’t help. Before long, you’re yanking and digging, but your wheelbarrow stays full, and the weeds are taking over the garden. So you get desperate and grab the Roundup, which takes down the weeds… and the beautiful plants in between them.
Why does the child kick or bite? And how did that behavior become the chosen response, instead of being recognized by the child as ineffective? How did that response become a “go to” response instead of being prevented (by recognition of warning signs) before it was allowed to occur again?
Does punishing the child by isolating him/her in a time out or room banishment fix the problem? Does the child have a better understanding of why their action wasn’t acceptable? Has it taught them a more appropriate way to respond in that situation? Has it replaced the bad behavior with an acceptable one?
Does hitting a child accomplish these things?
A situation like this doesn’t just suddenly occur. It’s often a result of dynamics that have been cultivated throughout the relationship, slowly enough to go unnoticed.
Things happen for reasons and without understanding the reasons, we can’t address the behaviors.
The most common reaction to this line of thinking is, “Stop blaming the parents!” But that is rash and reactive thinking. Because it isn’t blaming the parents. It’s purely an examination of cause and effect.
People want to be heard. People want to know they have value. People want the people who care about them to try to understand them and show compassion.
Many people have a very tough time keeping their judgment from clouding their understanding. They feel that if they aim for pure understanding, the other party will think they’re condoning the things that go against their beliefs. It doesn’t have to be that way.
It’s a huge subject and an interesting one. It’s not the kind of thing we can cut and dry quickly in a discussion forum. Because, the bottom line is that parenting requires not just good intentions, but mindfulness, self-discipline, the willingness to accept responsibility for the mistakes we’ve made, and the ability to apologize when we hurt someone. Those are the things we want to cultivate in our children.
Many people interpret this to mean there is no discipline. Again, that’s 180 degrees off. What it means is that we’re communicating clearly, staying attentive, preventing issues before they arise, and teaching responsibility and self-discipline.
Or, back to the tool box concept, you can fill your toolbox with hammers and just keep buying bigger hammers and see what results you get.
The sad truth of it though, is that lack of respect yields a lack of respect and there are many better ways to “get somebody’s attention” than with a smack across the butt or a slap on the hand.
I don’t expect you to accept these things. You obviously thought differently as you were raising your children. I’m not dissing you. We all do the best we can.
But maybe you can step back from your own personal experiences long enough to ponder what I’m saying. And perhaps you’ll see that there are effective, non-violent ways to parent that not only have good results, but build healthy communication skills and strong relationships.
Excellent, and very true, I do align with this.
But during urgent moments when a child knows no better, it may take an escalation to get their attention.
NuttyBuddy, I loved your analogy and of course it is true. I do not disagree with your mindset about how children should be raised and the responsibility of the parent as I have known many children that never needed to be spanked. However, I think that you missed my question. As you pointed out, once the problem is there, it isn’t necessarily an easy fix. You said that you have worked with over 200 children and have never felt that you had to spank any of them. Certainly all those children weren’t raised in the type of environment and nurturing that you so eloquently subscribe to.
I would have to bet dollars to donuts that you have had to interact with children that have all sorts of behavioral problems who act out and do things that your own child would never do. Therefor, I would imagine when an unruly child does not respond to your corrections or repeatedly re-offends that you have to reach into your handy tool box?
So what do you do when faced with a situation as I described in my previous post?
P.S. The child that kicks and bites his sister is a child that I babysat for a week because he had been thrown out of daycare. Yes I spanked him, nothing else worked. I only spanked him twice and the second time was with a ruler. After that, all I had to do is go get the ruler and he immediately stopped whatever hell raising he was up to. I had already tried everything else and all it got me was a slap in the face (literally) or a kick. His sister was an angle. I don’t know how my friends raised two complete opposites in the same fashion!!
Is it possible that there are devil children? (just joking)
Interesting
When my daughter was born to about age 3, I was adamant about never ever having to spank her because of a parential deep and caring love for their child .
Age 3 she was placing her self in mortal danger and disrespected my caring warning, a struggle took place and I spanked her.
At about age 5, she knew just how to fool and manipulate me, she was having problems in school and lying to me and when she became stubborn I spanked her.
Spanking her hurted me more than her (it really does)!
It was my fault because “I spoiled her” because I love her so much and always will!
I un-willing spanked her to adjust and modify some things that will spare her from trouble or danger in the future.
I am sure that teachers and child psychologists have many alternative from spanking but so far I only see it effective from external application.
Cindy, as I said, it’s too much to type out in a discussion forum. But I did address your questions. The answers just take a lot of typing, so I did it in a general sense. All those questions I was asking were pointing to the answers.
Determine what’s causing the behavior. Why is the child acting this way? Is he angry, tired, bored, feeling ignored, etc?
Determine what it is about his current way of reacting that appeals to him. Does he get attention? Does he get the toy he’s after? Does it make the other person sad?
It’s a bit of a detective game. But once you figure out the clues, you’re on the way to answers.
You start by showing him you want him to succeed. “I can tell you want to play with the dinosaur, and I’d love for you to be able to do that, but I can’t let you bite.”
Let him know your expectations. “Teeth are only for food and hurting other people is not allowed. You need to use nice manners.” “Your hands need to stay on your own body. You may not hit, ever.”
Involve him in the solution. “Can you think of some nice ways to ask for that?” Brainstorm together. Feel free to get silly and throw in some ridiculous things and then laugh at them, to help him think about distinguishing between options. Even if he can’t share his ideas, he can understand yours. He can answer questions like, “Is this a nice way to do it?” and “Do you think this would work?”
Expand on his ideas and use some of your own to teach him appropriate ways to meet his perceived needs.
He needs to replace unacceptable actions with acceptable ones and you need to tell/show him exactly what that would be. You tell him, show him, and practice it with him during calm times. You practice the good behaviors until they become the natural reaction. You do it playfully throughout the day and with rewarding outcomes (acknowledgment, pleased facial expressions, good attention, etc.) You celebrate his successes with him.
This is all simplified beyond what would be needed to be effective, unfortunately, but I can’t type all day! Basically, you teach new behaviors to replace unacceptable ones. You do it in a fun and rewarding way.
How to stop a crime in action without hitting? Try shouting “FREEZE!” It will confuse him just long enough for your to get over there and remove him from the situation.
In really bad situations, there are safe ways to restrain children by holding them from behind. They take some explaining and training.
There are also things the children around the “offender” can learn. They can be taught how to respond, what to say/do to stick up for themselves, etc.
How you treat the “victim” can affect the “offender’s” actions, too.
There’s a lot to it. Some people say it’s too hard to learn it all, and too time consuming to work with the kids.
But personally, I found it was much easier and more rewarding to take the time to learn these things and spend time teaching the children than it was to deal with the same frustrating and unrewarding situations over and over. Learning now and nipping it in the bud saves a LOT of time and frustration in the long run and establishes behaviors and attitudes that will serve the child well for the rest of his/her life.
People (tax payers), business, government cannot continue the struggle to make ends meet by giving freebees.
When the racial card infringement or expectation (over spoiled/ abused) is spurned, the next social program played is crime.
Thus, the tax payer is damned because of someone elses irresponsibility, attitude, and convenient self-justification.
Politicians in fear of losing votes will not ween off entittlement mentality for something more practical such as a WPA Programs (or old fashison earn it attitude $ is the same $ no matter what work is being done) in fear of affects on thier re-elections.
It goes deeper than ethnic or lack of education (yes, education require some ernest too and use to be free!) or poor me (irresponsible) circumstance.
Pulling the same old straw overly indoctrinated by special interest into our paraidign in this day and age is not going to pressure people to re-continue the SOS.
Nothing will ever satisfy (What will satisfy Jesse Jackson? Women, Money, Power? it will not!), so when will it be ween off into something more real and practical!
Virtually every age group, every race, ethnic group in the world had to be ernest and struggle to survive
Too many needy one step to desparate resolve.
Sometimes by just only a few dollars.
Better to get a WPA program to help everyone “all” get by.
The symbol of money is round to roll from one hand to another (circulation).
Every man, woman, child and business needs money.
Now the dollar rolls around moreso concentrated to pay off debts and credit creating greater day to day expense strains.
Various mathematicians have offered resolve for various economic and social security problems
One said if the government had from the beginning took about half the stimulus and given it a million dollars to everyone unemployed with a promise to pay off or buy a house and car, then it would have solved the unemployment, housing and auto industry a long time ago.
Seems all politicains make promising hopes from the bottom up to get votes, then when in office legislate funds from the top down, very little of it gets to the bottom, rendering it no different than a Ponzi.
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