Bullied Los Osos teen commits suicide

April 7, 2014
Nailani Buchholz

Nailani Buchholz

By KAREN VELIE

A bullied 13-year-old Los Osos girl died Thursday after a suicide bid following years of torment.

On March 29, while her mother was making barbecue and her father was working on his car, Nailani Buchholz wrote her parent’s a note and then hanged herself. For the next five days, the straight “A” Los Osos Middle School student clung to life before passing away just three weeks after turning 13.

Nailani Buchholtz grew up on the Central Coast as part of a close-knit family. And unlike many middle school students, Nailani Buchholtz wrote on Facebook and in her notebooks about what a great family she had.

Nevertheless, since elementary school, some of her classmates had taunted her about her weight and physical appearance. Though her parents were unaware of the middle school bullying, they knew that as early as fourth grade students were calling her derogatory names, said Bill Buchholtz, the teen’s father.

“We knew she was working through some self-esteem issues, she was a chunky little girl,” Bill Buchholtz said.

Nailani Buchholz

Nailani Buchholz

During fourth grade at Baywood Elementary, Nailani Buchholz asked her parents if she could stay home, to avoid the bullying. Baywood Elementary has a zero tolerance for bullying of any kind. School officials are not responding to questions about Nailani Buchholz noting confidentiality rules.

The next year, in fifth grade, Nailani Buchholz changed her eating habits and lost weight. Even so, some of her fellow students continued to taunt her with names such as ugly and fat. In her journal, Nailani wrote about a boy she had a crush on, how he walked her home from school, and that he called her fat, a family member said.

During the past year, Nailani Buchholz followed several social media posters who spoke of suicide. The teen also posted several videos on Vinebox in which her poor self-image is apparent.

“These people are staring at me, look, look, she’s so ugly,” Nailani Buchholz said in one of the videos.

Officials with the San Luis Coastal Unified School District and Los Osos Middle School said they are not disclosing at this time what actions, if any, they are planning to take regarding the bullying of Nailani Buchholz or if they plan to provide grief counseling for students.

 


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mbactivist1

I was told by a knowledgeable source that all of the bullying took place on social media, so the school and parents did not know about it. I think it is clear that much more careful parental monitoring and policing of Facebook and other social media sites is essential.


I was told by my daughter of one site called “Hot or Not” where teen girls post their pictures and others vote whether or not they are “hot”. Oh, great – that’s not just another opportunity for bullying; it’s also a place for predators to look for victims.


How many other such online “places” are there for kids to get into trouble? It used to be that kids were safe when they were physically at home. That’s no longer true. The Internet can be a dangerous place for the uninitiated and the naive.


When this kind of thing can happen to someone’s precious child, it is clear that parents have a duty to closely monitor their children’s online activities. That kind of “snooping” can save lives.


zaphod

perhaps we could use the NSA program to watch our kids for us while we go on about what we want to be doing .


zaphod

instead.


KimM

I thought that’s what’s ALREADY happening? ;)


Lyn

Really who? They know more than Me- I’m Nailani’s mother, and don’t think we haven’t sifted through this with a fine tooth comb- please tell me who your source is so they can enlighten on me??!!


RC10thst

I am so sorry for your loss I can not even image your pain. Please know you have many families praying for you and your sweet angle.


fishing village

How awful for this young girl’s family.

I am broken hearted for them.


For the future perhaps schools could have student escorts to be with children who complain of bullying. The bullies won’t say the painful words if they know they will be watched and reported. A group was set up of young men to escort young women around CalPoly when they felt threatened. This can’t go on in the light of day unless people are looking the other way!! WHAT can the bullies be thinking? Everyone has something about themselves they ‘hate’ when they are pre teens/and teens, and there are those who point them out! It needs to STOP!


SLOBIRD

What a tragic story on so many levels.


Peace young lady and condolences to the family of this child.


Jorge Estrada

This form of anger is very tragic, as for bullies, the world deals with them on a daily basis. Bullies are a problem for everyone, of all ages, but is never a rational excuse for punishing others by a selfish action, all healthy minds, of all ages, know this.


Cindy

Jorge, you’re wrong especially where young people are concerned. They don’t have the experience to see beyond the current situation or know that “this too shall pass”. Time is slow for young people, even 6 months is a very long time for them, they see it as a whole 1/2 year and that is a very long time to them. For this young girl to realize that a wonderful future was waiting for her, or that she would leave these bullies in the dust or that by the time she got to college she would be considered exotic and very attractive was beyond her young grasp.


This is so sad, it’s heart breaking. The school needed to contact the parents of the bullies. That is what happened with my neighbor here in Atascadero. Her niece (who was her foster child) was bullying a girl at school ( 7th graders) and the school called my neighbor and told her about it. Not only did my neighbor ground her niece but she told the school to throw the book at her, give her detention and make her sit inside during recess and alone during lunch for a week. It worked and when her niece (who was popular and a leader) stopped bullying her victim the others who followed her stopped as well.


What surprised me is that her Niece actually seemed confused when she got into trouble and asked “well what is bullying”? She got a lesson on it.


willieslo

Cindy

This is excellently well put

What precedes what a person say or their deeds (or reactions) is, first originate from their thoughts or thinking or education.

And the teaching at those ages usually unheeded by family reinforced outside can modify unrealized verbal or deed behavior/ habits.

Thank you for an excellent post.


willieslo

The kids of those ages need to be taught “educated” what bullying is versus being told not to bully. Many kids do not realize they are bullying


Old Salt

Age 13…It is my opinion that kids that age already know what bulling is.

Most kids know to treat others as they would like to be treated.

Discipline is what’s needed.


willieslo

Old Salt says: Age 13…It is my opinion that kids that age already know what bulling is. Most kids know to treat others as they would like to be treated.

Discipline is what’s needed.


Then tell why teen shootings and suicide happening in the nation and the world!

They need to develop or educate more beyond a simple Golden Rule, not limited to just Christian kids!


dogeatdog

So sad to hear that another young person took their life because of the words and actions of bullies.

I pray for the family and hope they get the help they will need to get through these tough times.

I pray too that the school truly look into this and so things will change and we will not lose any more young people.


racket

Heartbreaking.


deebo

What a tragedy. My love and prayers to the family and friends.


Pelican1

Nailani…


In the chilly hours and minutes

Of uncertainty

We want to be

In the warm hold of your lovin’ mind.


To feel you all around us

And to take your hand

Along the sand,

Ah, but we may as well try and catch the wind.


When sundown pales the sky

We want to hide a while

Behind your smile,

And everywhere we’d look, your eyes we’d find.


For us to love you now

Would be the sweetest thing,

‘T would make us sing,

Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.


Diddy di dee dee diddy diddy,

Diddy diddy diddy dee dee dee.


When rain has hung the leaves with tears

We want you near to kill our fears,

To help me to leave all my blues behind.


For standin’ in your heart

Is where we want to be

And long to be,

Ah, but we may as well try and catch the wind.


Ah, but we may as well try and catch the wind.