Ex-wife pillories council hopeful Paul Brown

May 28, 2013

Jayne BrownOPINION By JAYNE BROWN

I have read and been stirred by the letters to the editor supporting Paul Brown for a seat on San Luis Obispo City Council.

Because the true facts have been buried or hidden, understandably, none of them hint of the domestic violence that led to our divorce after four years of marriage, nor of the three-year restraining order granted after a thorough court case hearing both our testimonies.

I have remained silent out of a lingering sense of shame created by a painful and very public court case, in which I felt the stigma of being labeled a victim of domestic violence, a feeling I understand is shared by domestic violence victims who often are at a loss for how to respond or whether to speak at all.

Unfortunately, my silence has allowed some untruths to perpetuate. I feel the city of San Luis Obispo voters may benefit from my voice and personal perspective now while they consider who will best serve the people of this community.

Here are some facts our community may want to consider:

— In September of 2007, I sought the help of the San Luis Obispo Women’s Shelter and court system to establish a protective domestic violence restraining Order against my then husband, Paul Brown;

— The abuse was documented with photos and hospital/doctor records;

— Although a restraining order was entered, Paul has continued to deny any responsibility for the abuse that has been documented;

— After the divorce finalized, Paul and his attorney requested the restraining order be allowed to expire–claiming the Order made finding employment difficult for Paul. The judge allowed it, warning Paul not to contact me;

— Despite Paul’s claims to the contrary, the expiration of the restraining Order in no way invalidated or overturned the original Judgment;

— Paul’s behavior both during our divorce and what has been publicly reported about him since our divorce, in my mind, has revealed his questionable character, and his careless nature.

I’m breaking my silence now because like schoolyard bullies, domestic violence abusers who seek power and control over others are too often fueled by silence and apathy.

As I am no longer a victim but a survivor of domestic violence, I’m putting an end to my own contribution to Paul Brown’s behavior by speaking out. I’m also speaking to empower other domestic violence victims who don’t deserve to bear the burden of shame. That shame, here, belongs exclusively to the abuser, Paul Brown.

I have seen enough to know we can do a whole lot better.

Also, supporting documents are a matter of public record. The San Luis Obispo Women’s Shelter is authorized to confirm I used their services. I remain grateful for their guidance, council, and support.


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ponygirl

Jayne lives in SLO & so does Paul. Has she ever spoken out before? No, she has not. As far as the last name goes, really? That’s what you’re going to pick at here? She was at one of the ‘meet the candidate’ meetings; so now she is stalking him? That is a tad bit far-fetched. She has no reason to be shamed, while court documents, doctors records, & ER records give Mr Brown plenty of opportunity to be publicly shamed, & rightly so.


rogerfreberg

doesn’t sound like you are convincing anyone here…


SamLouis

“ponygirl” isn’t convincing me due to the tenor of her comments. Sad to say her comments smack of partisan politics, anger/bitterness and even a hint of misandry. No thanks.


ponygirl

Well, you got the anger part right. Kudos to the misogynists!


Citizen

Ponygirl, she has spoken out before.


ponygirl

Again, in 2007 they were both asked to comment. And they both did. Find anything else? Didn’t think so.


rogerfreberg

Okay, I do get it… you don’t like Paul and divorced him.


I don’t doubt that you have used various county services, nor do I doubt that there is a genuine need for services for women ( and some men) in our county when confronted with abuse. However, I don’t believe you are one of them.


Its always hard for people who fall out of relationships for one reason or another to see their ‘ex’ continuing to do well… and heaven help it.. grab a little happiness in this world. I don’t blame you… I have seen this sort of angst even in my extended family.


Let me offer you some advice… the same I had offered Paul some time back… Marry the right person. So share your feelings and history with discretion but also volunteer some of your personal quirks and political opinions to your special someone… and if he moves on remember… it was for the better.


ponygirl

Roger, did you ever stop to consider that Jayne worked ‘for’ Paul at Mothers & lived in his house? So, her financial/housing situation was intricately linked to Mr Brown’s – this is the same reason women seek protection & shelter from the Women’s Shelter. Get it? And this isn’t even taking into consideration the physical abuse.


rogerfreberg

Oh I do get it. I didn’t meet Paul yesterday.


And I do understand that it’s particularly difficult when ones financial life and lifestyle is dependent on a stable relationship with another person…. and ‘abuse’ is almost a routine accusation nowadays and can come from either party as leverage in the divorce proceedings. Thank God there were no children… everyone can part cleanly… well, almost everyone.


I do understand, as I am sure Paul does, that his ‘ex’ will track him down to Hell’s gates… but my advice stands… Marry the right person.


ponygirl

Roger, how exactly, is speaking out now after SEVEN YEARS tracking down one’s former spouse to the gate’s of hell? This is the first we have EVER heard from her, and here we go – lots of men jumping up and down and trying to silence an inconvenient woman. You really are piece of work.


rogerfreberg

Oh, you are right…


Men are just so bad aren’t they? My advice is the same to you… share some of your viewpoints with your significant other… and if he doesn’t run away… then keep him. Are you one of these posters who share their views on-line but their significant other knows nothing of their innermost thoughts?? There are a few of these who post here btw.


ponygirl

Thanks for the advice Roger. I have a great man, have been with him for 20 years. Sorry for the disappointment. And, no, he knows very well how outspoken and opinionated I am, and he encourages it. I like that you keep trying to silence the women, though. Super cool.


SamLouis

The timing of all this guarantees I will vote for Brown.


ponygirl

Really? Even with now-public records being released? Wow. God willing this never happens to the women in your life. Shame on you for being so blind to the ugliness that men can rain down on their women.


SamLouis

No, shame on your for giving lying reprobates like Marx a pass while attacking Brown with a strategically timed (thanks Democractic Central Committee!!) message by Brown’s ex-wife.


Citizen

She’s not releasing public or private records. Public records are available to the public. The only thing she is doing is authorizing the Women’s Shelter to say she was there.


rogerfreberg

William Congreve wrote: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,” spoken by Zara in Act III, Scene VIII


ponygirl

Well, now you can add to that: a woman abused by her husband & refuses to remain silent. One might expect her to be angry. And furious when community leaders rally ’round him.


rogerfreberg

As I have said to various extended family members who found themselves divorcing for one reason or another ( sometimes their fault)…. “leave with dignity, try to remember that you married this person for a reason in the first place and close the relationship fairly.”


To be frank, some took my advice and some did not. The ones that didn’t acted like screaming harpies working at mutual destruction… those that faced it fairly were able to move on and build a new… sometimes significantly better life.


ponygirl

Lord help the women in your family.


ponygirl

And the truth shall set you free! Unfortunately for Mr Brown, this is a truth he never wanted to see the light of day, & he was arrogant enough to think it wouldn’t come out with all of it’s ugly truths. Karma is a bitch.


SamLouis

Sorta like Marx illegally conspiring to stop the Dalidio Ranch development and then lying about it?


Citizen

Paul Brown’s wife has already been very vocal about this. It’s not a secret ; it’s been in the Tribune. Mr. Brown has a different version of this.


ponygirl

Really? Very vocal? I challenge you to find anything with her in it, other than the original article that came out. I believe the Trib talked to both of them about this in the 2007 case before the judge. Other than that, good luck. She hasn’t said a word. Go ahead.


SLOBIRD

You are very concerning, Ponygirl. You are either Jayne, obsessed with Mr. Brown or Mrs. Brown, or a stocker of Mr. Brown as you have way too much feeling in your comments here. Your comments have an extremely hateful tone and that is not healthy.


I am sorry for Mrs. Brown’s situation, that she didn’t have a friend like you or family six years ago to help her move on and find resources to help her to get over this three year marriage.


But, it has been 6 years, 3 years plus longer than the marriage lasted, and this “opinion” piece demonstrates a hateful, political induced, revengeful act. It is definitely time for all to move on!


ponygirl

Yes, you are right – I am concerned. I am concerned at the apathy this community has regarding a person running for office and their lack of character. It is disgusting. I don’t know about you, but I would like to have my elected officials be pretty damn good citizens. Paul has shown himself to be seriously lacking in the character department.

And the marriage lasted for 4 years, fyi, and lest anyone forget what he did to Jayne, well you reap what you sow, Paul…

By the way, not Jayne, but yes, I have known her for over 25 years. So, she does have a friend like me. And I have had a handful of friends over the years who have suffered at the hands of their spouses. I am very sick of it – as we all should be as a society.


SanSimeonSam

Sounds Like Paul Brown is better suited to be on the board of supervisors than city council. He would fit in with Hill and Gibson and their petty tyrant bullying and demeaning of women.


abigchocoholic

pillories

——————

Really? I’m betting only about 1 in a thousand know that word. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before today.


Niles Q

Good for you. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to speak up about something like this.

My wife spent 19 years in an abusive first marriage, sticking around so long for the sake of her three children.

Here we are more than 15 years after she divorced that a**hole and she finds it difficult to talk about it. However, she does talk about it with any woman who asks.

Too many women go too long in such abusive relationships before seeking help. My wife says everyone has their breaking point and until they reach it, the abuse will continue unchecked.

As for the abuser, domestic violence is a character flaw and anyone who commits it has something deep in side that just isn’t right.

I can never understand how a person could do intentional harm to someone he has vowed to love, honor and cherish.

Now, does that make him unfit for the city council? I would hope so.

And this guy is a police officer? Sympathy to the folks in Guadalupe.


slojoey

Didn’t someone steal his police gun out of his unlocked car? How irresponsible can a police person be? Hmmm


SamLouis

And you know what Brown would have done if he was someone like Marx? He would have locked his vehicle, quietly broken out a window and then called the cops right after calling his lawyer. Just another little lie to cover up a mistake and he would have been in the clear.


Citizen

Not as low as Police Chief Lisa Solomon whose “unregistered” loaded gun was stolen out of her unlocked car. She didn’t even report it stolen.

Nothing happened to her because she was protected by the DA’s Office and the Paso City Manager, but Brown resigned his position as a police officer in Morro Bay as a result of this.


SamLouis

She’s also a woman. Huge double standard when it comes to holding people accountable based upon their sex.


ponygirl

He was asked to resign. Let’s be clear here. He also had an unregistered handgun in the car, and his MBPD badge stolen, too. And wasn’t there that untended kitchen fire in his house? In the densely populated Laguna Lake neighborhood. Yeah, great guy.


SLOBIRD

How low can one get…


SamLouis

You’d have to ask Marx regarding the Dalidio property…


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