Ex-wife pillories council hopeful Paul Brown

May 28, 2013

Jayne BrownOPINION By JAYNE BROWN

I have read and been stirred by the letters to the editor supporting Paul Brown for a seat on San Luis Obispo City Council.

Because the true facts have been buried or hidden, understandably, none of them hint of the domestic violence that led to our divorce after four years of marriage, nor of the three-year restraining order granted after a thorough court case hearing both our testimonies.

I have remained silent out of a lingering sense of shame created by a painful and very public court case, in which I felt the stigma of being labeled a victim of domestic violence, a feeling I understand is shared by domestic violence victims who often are at a loss for how to respond or whether to speak at all.

Unfortunately, my silence has allowed some untruths to perpetuate. I feel the city of San Luis Obispo voters may benefit from my voice and personal perspective now while they consider who will best serve the people of this community.

Here are some facts our community may want to consider:

— In September of 2007, I sought the help of the San Luis Obispo Women’s Shelter and court system to establish a protective domestic violence restraining Order against my then husband, Paul Brown;

— The abuse was documented with photos and hospital/doctor records;

— Although a restraining order was entered, Paul has continued to deny any responsibility for the abuse that has been documented;

— After the divorce finalized, Paul and his attorney requested the restraining order be allowed to expire–claiming the Order made finding employment difficult for Paul. The judge allowed it, warning Paul not to contact me;

— Despite Paul’s claims to the contrary, the expiration of the restraining Order in no way invalidated or overturned the original Judgment;

— Paul’s behavior both during our divorce and what has been publicly reported about him since our divorce, in my mind, has revealed his questionable character, and his careless nature.

I’m breaking my silence now because like schoolyard bullies, domestic violence abusers who seek power and control over others are too often fueled by silence and apathy.

As I am no longer a victim but a survivor of domestic violence, I’m putting an end to my own contribution to Paul Brown’s behavior by speaking out. I’m also speaking to empower other domestic violence victims who don’t deserve to bear the burden of shame. That shame, here, belongs exclusively to the abuser, Paul Brown.

I have seen enough to know we can do a whole lot better.

Also, supporting documents are a matter of public record. The San Luis Obispo Women’s Shelter is authorized to confirm I used their services. I remain grateful for their guidance, council, and support.


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WiserGuy

Domestic abuse cases are notoriously difficult to sort out, so I won’t cast judgment as to whether Paul Brown is guilty of all the things his ex-wife accuses him of.


But one thing that I have no doubt about, and what we have plenty of evidence of, is that on the CalCoastNews forums, the most abusive, condescending and rude comments regarding the SLO City council race are coming from those supporting Paul Brown.


It’s even more appalling that those same posters seem to take no pause whatsoever to consider whether they are or are not supporting the election of someone who is violent or otherwise abusive. This seems to matter not one bit to them. Even worse, they are quick to denounce and be abusive to Brown’s ex-wife even though they have no way of knowing whether what she says is true or not. Either that or they simply do not care.


Paul Brown could be a saint, but if he is going to be furthering the interests of the kind of abusive, rude, arrogant and divisive people who come ot this forum in support of him, then there are many of us who find that prospect very troubling and give us plenty of reason to chose to support his opponent, so as not to feed and reward the abusive and bigoted members of this community.


r0y

You must be viewing things through filters.


isoslo

Jayne sounds like a bitter ex who wants one last shot at Paul, just cause she can. I believed her story

more when it wasn’t used to hurt Paul. This accusation should be left to the two of them, and if it was indeed serious, then the courts.The accusations are now being used to effect political outcome. It reminds me of Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas.


WiserGuy

Bad example, isoslo. If people had paid more heed to Anita Hill then the United States would not continue to be saddled with a Supreme Court in ruins in part because of the immoral Clarence Thomas being appointed, which has been a disaster for those who believe in the kind of nation that our Founding Fathers hoped for.


SLOBIRD

Our Founding Fathers with be disgusted with everything going on in our government today, Clarence Thomas being the least of the current concerns. Bills of Rights destroyed, Constitution of the United States totally ignored, laws ignored everyday, IRS amok, spying on our freedom of press rights, too big to fair stealing from taxpayers, borders not protected, China stealing our secrets… Let me know if you need more information!


Vallybear

I applaud the former Mrs. Brown in speaking out.

I wonder how many of those who are pro Mr.. Brown are those that were quite quick to jump on the anti-Bruce Gibson side.

Non-partisan, my foot. There is not one election in the country no matter what the office that doesn’t sooner or later be tagged as being “political” and assigned one political party or another. Is the state rep from AG non-political. Don’t tell me was non-political when he was elected as supervisor prior to state office.Why isn’t anyone saying that he was using his supervisor’s office as a jump start to further his career?


Jorge Estrada

I can sense a root cause of the divorce and my prayer for Paul is that he can ignor the continued provication of an ex who should be happily moving forward. If all ex’s, male or female, sent their hate mail the U. S. Postal Service woud be profitable again and even that would be temporary.


ponygirl

You can sense the root cause, can you? Brilliant, ‘cuz I think it is pretty well spelled out for all to see.

And what advice would you have given to her while she was going thru 4 years of spousal abuse? More prayers? You are a mental giant.


r0y

Ah, Jorge, you broke the cardinal rule: NEVER SIDE AGAINST THE WOMAN. Ever. At least in public. You will be wrong and flogged. Just how it is.


Jorge Estrada

I have no advice to yesteryear but it is said that it takes two to tango. As for getting flogged, yes I know and have been but I am still alive with scares, much better than dead and alway correct.


Stunned

If we suddenly held these kangaroo court type elections and only voted for the most moral of politicians I’m afraid we’d run out of decent candidates. While I’m so proud of this woman for refusing to be a victim any longer she now appears to have taken the aggressive stance…..isn’t that concerning to anyone?


She indicated the stay away order expired as well and I’ve not seen that happen when a victim still feels threatened so at a minimum I’d recommend new legal council!


WiserGuy

You’ve got it exactly wrong, Stunned. What we need to do to improve our community and our nation is SUPPORT the most morally upstanding candidates and politicians. To do otherwise is a sure fire recipe for disaster and degradation of our society.


r0y

Correct, but no one here is advocating for the most morally upstanding candidate, only attacking Brown (lacking morals) and supporting Christiansen (lacking morals). This is why I voted for Don. He has the moral high ground in this race. Unfortunately, many here are too politico to be moral.


slomike

Thanks to Jayne for speaking out and thanks to Karen for printing this. When progressives get tangled up in consensual relations, all you principled conservatives “pillory” them ad nauseum. When one of your own has his documented domestic abuse commented on by a wife who has held her tongue for years, you blame her and the Democratic Party! My God, indeed.


r0y

Comments like this only reinforce that this is a politically-motivated event. Very sad and pathetic. Using a past tragedy to influence low-information voters.


SLOBIRD

r0y, works almost everytime, that is why folks lower themselves to that level…


Pelican1

Deep vengeance is the daughter of deep silence.


womanwhohasbeenthere

Now that we have dragged Paul Brown through the mud via his ex-wife let’s look at the other candidate, who is heavily funded by the Democrat Central Committee, Planned Parenthood and public employee unions. Paul Brown will never go beyond city council. Carlyn Christianson if elected will be running for higher office within two years and she has already laid the groundwork for this. I would prefer someone who will focus on San Luis Obispo and not her own higher political ambitions.


racket

My god. To what level will the Dems stoop to win a non-partisan election?


ponygirl

What makes you think this is political? How about a woman sharing her truth about an abusive man. Think on it.


racket

I have thunk on it. And I have concluded that this is political.


r0y

Seriously? What makes us think this is political? A hit-piece on a candidate being “released” after a 3-day weekend? You insult most of us, ma’am/sir.


ponygirl

I am a woman, Lori Johnston, and I think it is funny that so many people are making such a big deal of this being released the day after a 3 day weekend. If Jayne had known that THIS is what people would focus on, trust me, she would have worked a little harder to compose it so it went out on Thursday or Friday to make all of you happy.