New horoscope signs, a new you

January 14, 2011

Just yesterday you were an emotional, loyal homebody, born under the sign of the crab. And then today, according to an astronomer, you are an independent, social, talkative Gemini. [MinnesotaStarTribune]

How did this happen?

According to Parke Kunkle, a board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society, the moon’s gravitational pull has slowly moved the Earth on its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars’ alignment.

So, for about 200 years, most horoscope enthusiasts have been paying attention to the wrong horoscope.

The new dates are:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

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I gave up on this cr*p when poor Pluto fell from grace as a “planet”.

Finding out that I’ve been an Aries all along, and not a Taurus feels a bit like discovering I’m Jewish. Shocking, until I realize that I dont relly believe in that religion either.

so are they changing the characteristics too or just the dates? Why can’t people just leave things alone. Imagine all the mellow tauruses who are now defined as crazy aries. No, sorry just doesn’t work here.

Yeah well we used to have 9 planets in the good old days.