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Bullied Los Osos teen commits suicide

April 7, 2014
Nailani Buchholz

Nailani Buchholz

By KAREN VELIE

A bullied 13-year-old Los Osos girl died Thursday after a suicide bid following years of torment.

On March 29, while her mother was making barbecue and her father was working on his car, Nailani Buchholz wrote her parent’s a note and then hanged herself. For the next five days, the straight “A” Los Osos Middle School student clung to life before passing away just three weeks after turning 13.

Nailani Buchholtz grew up on the Central Coast as part of a close-knit family. And unlike many middle school students, Nailani Buchholtz wrote on Facebook and in her notebooks about what a great family she had.

Nevertheless, since elementary school, some of her classmates had taunted her about her weight and physical appearance. Though her parents were unaware of the middle school bullying, they knew that as early as fourth grade students were calling her derogatory names, said Bill Buchholtz, the teen’s father.

“We knew she was working through some self-esteem issues, she was a chunky little girl,” Bill Buchholtz said.

Nailani Buchholz

Nailani Buchholz

During fourth grade at Baywood Elementary, Nailani Buchholz asked her parents if she could stay home, to avoid the bullying. Baywood Elementary has a zero tolerance for bullying of any kind. School officials are not responding to questions about Nailani Buchholz noting confidentiality rules.

The next year, in fifth grade, Nailani Buchholz changed her eating habits and lost weight. Even so, some of her fellow students continued to taunt her with names such as ugly and fat. In her journal, Nailani wrote about a boy she had a crush on, how he walked her home from school, and that he called her fat, a family member said.

During the past year, Nailani Buchholz followed several social media posters who spoke of suicide. The teen also posted several videos on Vinebox in which her poor self-image is apparent.

“These people are staring at me, look, look, she’s so ugly,” Nailani Buchholz said in one of the videos.

Officials with the San Luis Coastal Unified School District and Los Osos Middle School said they are not disclosing at this time what actions, if any, they are planning to take regarding the bullying of Nailani Buchholz or if they plan to provide grief counseling for students.

 


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When I was in high school, we had a suicide. He was a popular, good looking, highly intelligent achiever. Then, about two months later, his girlfriend killed herself and we all found out she was pregnant. She was also popular, intelligent, and beautiful. As a group, our class has never recovered. We all loved them. Suicide is very personal until it’s over. Visiting their graves over the last thirty years, I can only feel deep loss. They have missed so much. Others at our school attempted suicide in the years that followed.


I’m concerned about the comments that “Officials with the San Luis Coastal Unified School District and Los Osos Middle School said they are not disclosing at this time what actions, if any, they are planning to take regarding the bullying of Nailani Buchholz or if they plan to provide grief counseling for students.”


Officials, I encourage you to look deep within, own this problem, team with the parents, and take aggressive actions at ALL of San Luis Coastal Unified Schools. This is an extremely serious concern and the risk of repeats is, in my opinion, unacceptable without proper response.


Sometimes experience helps to provide some clarity in this difficult time. Action is necessary.


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Yet another precious life lost for NO reason. This didn’t have to happen. Those responsible…I guess all of us to a degree, should feel ashamed. Ashamed that we didn’t see the bullying, didn’t stop the bullying, and have raised a generation seemingly without a moral compass.

In the absence of human interaction, socialization, compassion for one another, and fellowship, it has come to this.

We are breeding drones with feelings or human emotions…unless of course it comes to themselves.It’s another very sad day indeed.

condolences and prayers to the family and loved ones.

WAKE UP AMERICA!


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The people who really should be ashamed are the adults at the school, the teachers, administrators, or employees. They likely saw or heard of the bulling and for some reason decided not to step in.


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Why should the adults at the school and administrators be ashamed? It’s not their job to be responsible for every child and or adult out there. The biggest bullies are ADULTS..who teach their children to be bullies. I find this highly hypocritical coming from you Kayaknut & Pelican1. Go back through all your “comments” on this site. Aren’t you both bullies as well?? You make nasty comments and judgments on others….who is responsible for your bully tactics?? Someone else? Its ok for you to say things about people you have never meet and nasty comments at that…..based on hear say and rumors and very little facts (or twisted non-complete facts)..but by God…the school and the adults that work at the school should be ashamed ??? (WHAT???) So what happens when your “comments” drive someone closer and closer out there to kill themselves….is that your fault or does the blame get placed on someone else??? So what kind of example are you?? Answer= Not a good one.


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loco parentis


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What a beautiful girl. Prayers to the whole family.


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Yes, I didn’t expect to see such a beautiful young girl. These cruel bullies now have to look themselves in the mirror for the remainder of their days, I wonder what they’ll see reflecting back at them?


My prayers and condolences are with this family and those who loved Nailani. My prayers are also with those who have to live with the outcome of their cruel words, I suspect they’ve learned a very hard lesson and the parents who raised these bullies, my thoughts are with them too.


Parents, raise your children to be kind, teachers contact parents who have missed teaching the right lessons. Most parents don’t want to hear that their child is MEAN, and they will make corrections when informed.


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Great job KSBY, The Tribune and New Times for NOT covering this story.


Your continual denial of these types of stories and your constant ridicule of Cal Coast News will only allow more tragedy to be heaped upon the citizens of SLO!


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Why aren’t principals and teachers taking on this problem by the horns (if they are, it isn’t

working). They should circulate clear instructions and hold classes on how students

should treat each. Students who bully others should be reprimanded and if it continues,

suspended.


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I agree, but parents are also part of the equation. Does your child accept and forgive or does he or she point out differences and resort to separation? Lots of little course corrections are always necessary throughout life. Take time to listen.


We have a teacher at Sinsheimer that is a bully. It’s difficult.


My prayers to the family. There is no greater loss.


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This isn’t just about principals and teachers, this is about ALL of us. Until we recognize that fact, and take steps to stop the inhumanity we foist upon humanity, we are doomed as a society.


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Bless this family through these tough times. Our heartfelt condolences to them.


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Yes bullying does begin at home. But the schools will do anything to save face at the expense of the bullied student. They think they have all the answers and they claim they will make sure this doesn’t happen. NOT SO. !! If you want to make a difference, begin by listening to your children and what they are saying. We had the same problems for our son at school and were going to try to transfer our son. The school jumped all over the place

to try to prevent us from moving him. We agreed and they ended up placing the kid that was bullying our son in the same class as he about 3 months before the school year

ended.

We were absolutely floored and the school acted like they knew nothing. Joke of the Day.

In my opinion, the schools can help prevent these thing more efficiently- if most of the

Yard duties were actually watching the kids instead of chatting it up with each other about

their boyfriends or drama somewhere else. Or better yet, actually have someone who

can get those kids with no one to play with in a game of basketball where they can play

as equals instead of

“You can’t play with us” or “We don’t Like you” – To me this will give all a chance to

participate in fair play and fair treatment that they would not receive out on their own.

JMO


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This is so sad, I can’t even think of a comment suitable for this one. Very depressing. I grew up being the shortest one in my class from 6th grade to 10th grade and was picked on a lot. My Dad gave me great advice; fight back! You can either take it all year or you can get the reputation of someone who doesn’t take crap. I had to get in fights the first day of class for several years but after that they left me alone. Can’t do that now I guess, they’d kick you out of school.


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They learn this at home. They learn this from tv. But one would think that there would be something inside children that would well up inside them and realize it is not right to treat another person like that. But it doesn’t. Many just do not have a compassion chip-it is missing. And so the sensitive pay the price.


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