Father fights for the right to raise his child

December 10, 2014

baby-money1_0Editor’s Note: Because of privacy concerns, the parent’s names have been changed in the story.


San Luis Obispo County Child Welfare Services is recommending the father of a 23-month-old daughter lose his parental rights, even though there have never been any allegations of abuse or neglect against the father.

Jay is what CWS refers to as a non-offending parent. Nevertheless, once a child is placed in the foster care system, CWS workers often require non-offending parents to follow the same requirements child abusers are given.

In 2011, Jay, 26, and Sue, 25, met at the Starbucks in Atascadero. They dated for about six months when Jay ended the relationship.

Shortly before she gave birth to their daughter, Sue told Jay she was pregnant.

On the day she was born, Jay went to the hospital to meet his daughter. Even so, during the early months Sue would not always allow Jay visitation.

When the baby was six months old, Sue was arrested and the child was placed into foster care with one of Sue’s cousins.

Because Jay’s name was not on the birth certificate, his lawyer suggested he take a paternity test. The test verified Jay, who was living in a large home with six other young men, was the child’s father.

However, because the child was already in state custody, the CWS worker assigned to the case said the baby would need to remain in foster care while social services handled reunification, Jay said.

As part of the reunification process, CWS required Jay to take parenting classes because he had never been a parent before. In addition, his case worker wanted Jay to find a new home. Jay agreed to follow the worker’s suggestions.

“I agreed because I thought it would only take about three months to get my daughter,” Jay said.

Even though Jay has no history of drug or alcohol abuse, CWS worker Denise Waters placed him in a parenting class geared to parents with drug issues.

During this time, Jay said he was only permitted to see his daughter one hour a week during visits supervised by the foster parent.

Jay said he began to get frustrated with Waters after she informed him he had taken the wrong parenting class. Waters then sent Jay to a parenting class focused on disciplining older children.

While Jay was taking classes, the foster parent informed CWS of her desire to adopt the baby. During this time, the foster mother was responsible for evaluating Jay for CWS. In her reports, she said that Jay appeared not to have developed a significant bond with his daughter.

The foster parent’s statements would then be used as a reason not to increase court ordered visitation.

Jay said Waters then suggested he agree to terminate his parental rights and allow the foster mother to adopt his child.

Waters also determined the second set of parenting classes was not appropriate. Jay then enrolled in a parenting class on his own through an adult school.

Jay said Waters continued refusing to increase visitation claiming she needed him to undergo a psychological exam. Jay responded by asking for a new case worker.

The county assigned a new social worker who quickly increased Jay’s visitation to three times a week for two hours each, the minimum ordered by the court.

In addition, the new social worker recommended Jay take parenting classes through CAPSLO, the fourth set of parenting classes Jay completed.

Jay also agreed to undergo a psychological evaluation which determined he did not suffer from mental illness.

Nevertheless, CWS is continuing to say it is in the best interest of the child, now almost 2-years-old, to be adopted by the foster family.

On Thursday, Jay will be back in court for a hearing to determine if his time for reunification can be extended.

Nevertheless, time is running out as federal laws require that if reunification is not completed in 18-months, younger children needs to be put up for adoption.

While more and more children are permanently removed from non-offending parents or non-traditional families, nationwide child advocates are questioning if the practice is financially motivated.

Every time CWS places a child in foster care, they receive federal funds. And if the child is adopted through CWS, bonuses that range from $1,000 to $6,000 are paid to the county for certain classes of children. The county then continues to receive monthly checks until the child reaches 18-years-of-age for both adopted and foster children.

During the past fiscal year, San Luis Obispo County received almost $20 million dollars in federal funding for children removed from their parents.

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Is this writer related to the child or father?


To LAH: And grooming the Deputy Director with the allure of power and control, versus competence that the current Director cannot pass on if he doesn’t have it, indicates that more of the same will be the case.

The main players in the County system know this, but other than the Board of Supervisors, no one else is really in a position to do anything about it. Gibson and Hill are so focused on themselves, concerns other than their own, don’t really exist to them.

Unfortunate for the entire county, but you are right. They have allowed it for years, turning a blind eye costing us a fortune! Integrity if obviously NOT a requirement. The only solution is to fire for misconduct, then hire someone experienced OUTSIDE our current dysfunctional gang of DSS employees.

Word is no one there can effectively do their job. Lack of proper leadership, lack of proper training on the new system. Too much negativity from overloaded workers. Hostile leadership. It all comes down to Collins’ EGO, which has adversely affected the entire staff. So the only answer is to hire a competent director from outside the county.

To all you men out there join the sexodus.. and free yourself from slavery


Until there is a change at the top of SLO County DSS; starting with the Director and Deputy Director, there will be this unexplainable and unacceptable subjectiveness between case workers, and then the same irrational outcome.

That Department has been driven by ego, and the desire for power under the current leadership, and is now paralyzed by fear of doing the wrong thing, so much so, that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The abuse and incompetency is beyond comprehension. Mr. Collins came in with David Edge. Both from the same town San Benito. Best friends! And we all know what kind of man David Edge was. The county was smart to remove Edge, but for some reason they allow Collins to keep his job?? I have heard so many stories including mocking up files for state inspections. The list is unbelievable.

CCN should investigate just how many law suits, how much $$ has the county paid out in misconduct of DSS underhanded doings??

Wrap that rascal!

CWS worker Denise Waters is the problem. What an idiot.

You need a good family law attorney dude!

Up to this point,you’ve done everything wrong.

Let the man have his child… I divorced with three kids and took primary custody..

So listen up, all of you unmarried guys out there.

Never ever EVER make babies with a woman unless you’re prepared to never ever EVERsee them.

Sadly, you don’t have many rights as a sperm donor. Your baby mama doesn’t even need to list you on the child’s birth certificate.

And if she decides she doesn’t want to be a mom, even if you DO want to be a father…well, too bad.

Your baby mama can just head down to Planned Parenthood and have your unborn child sucked from her womb. There’s zero you can do about it.

One thing to be glad about

The gal could have kept the baby and named the father.

Then go on social welfare get all her necessity s taken care of $$$.

The DA would have then charged him for being a dead beat father.

And the DMV wiould have suspend him for having a driver license until he clears with the DA.

Meanwhile the cousin and county continues to rape in $$$

Its unfortunate in this case, the guy sincerely cares about his own blood child.

On the other hand, if you have money, the mother can get that in addition too via your trojan sperm. Althought there is a happy landing for both in consential sex, the tax funded Gov will go after whom ever can pay. They will be the third sex partner you won’t like. Another reason to be equally yoked…..