Stacy Korsgaden on the fallout from the rally in Washington DC

February 3, 2021

Stacy Korsgaden

OPINION by STACY KORSGADEN

In the early 90s, I shocked my mother by confiding that I had fallen in love with a woman named Jodi. Mom immediately declared that no one would like me or do business with me, and that I was endangering my entire future.

She was just scared, confused, and feeling protective of her daughter, but sadly neither of us had the tools to properly cope with this sudden, massive shift in my predetermined life.

Ultimately, our journey that had been filled with pain, fear, loneliness, confusion and misunderstanding ended with the healing power of love. In the end, the answer was that simple. It usually is.

Today is the fourth anniversary of my mom’s passing. One of the last things she said to me was “Please tell Jodi I love her.” Jodi was by her side when she passed, along with one of my brothers and my twin sister. I believe her divine spirit ascended to Heaven to be with Jesus. My mother left the world a better place, living her life with love.

While Mom was right about so many things as my teacher and advisor, she was wrong about my career failing because I happened to be gay. If I shared with people that I was gay, it was after they came to know me for the person I am. Some people cared, most couldn’t have cared less.

After 32 years in the insurance industry, I’ve been recognized as a national “Top 150 Agent” in my company and my agency continues to thrive. That’s because to be successful in the service business, it is never about “self.”

My gratitude and affection for my clients has both financial and emotional rewards. Yes, my work is fulfilling, but it’s the relationships I have built over the decades that are always at the core of my success.

Fast forward to last Friday, when I could not help but hear my mother’s initial warning ringing in my ears years ago as I shared the truth about myself.

Last week, a reporter from The Tribune emailed me twice to inform me he had obtained two pictures showing me in Washington, DC at the Rally for Election Integrity and wanted me to comment on my attendance at the event. (I don’t know how the candid photos were obtained, as I never posted them to any social media.)

Regardless, as a private citizen, I didn’t feel my attendance was “news.” The reporter then called my office to follow up, so I decided to give him the interview. After a margin-thin election loss for San Luis Obispo County supervisor last year, the media apparently continues to consider me a public figure – especially if they see me as a potential future candidate.

What happened shortly after that article was made public was deeply surprising to me. I suppose it shouldn’t have been, given the huge divide in politics today, but the fallout from my private decision to attend the rally was still absolutely unexpected. Some clients that I had served – seen their kids grow up, sponsored their sporting events and supported their causes, held their hand after a traumatic claim and celebrated personal moments – were canceling their policies due to the political optics and assumptions of my intent and beliefs. Relationships forged, in some cases for decades, were just gone. Relationships that mattered to me.

There are similarities for this point of time to the supercharged moment I came out to my mother 30 years ago: we do not have the tools to properly care for each other during these emotional times in our society.

Since my coming out, my growth has come from asking myself hard questions and being open to new ideas. Back then, my feelings were chaotic. I knew with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life but at the time, I did not know how that could happen. I found myself alone a lot. Always a social person, I suddenly didn’t trust many people with my feelings, and discovered that I did not fully love myself. And love is always the key.

Many years ago, I tried to run from the life I was expected to live by almost marrying a wonderful man. Again, the answer was love. I loved him enough not to drag him into a lie, which allowed me to start loving myself with honesty and follow my heart.

What does this have to do with our troubled times? What are the answers for our country? Let me bring it to our own mirrors. I believe all of our lives can be about personal growth and that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. Right now, people are grappling with trying to make sense of the past, present, and future. It is a deeply personal time for most people.

How can we remain true to who we are and what we believe while being true to the relationships we value, even if we disagree? In this time in history, we are struggling with political issues and have lost sight of what brought us together in our deeply personal relationships. More than anything, we seem to have forgotten that respect is a cornerstone of any true relationship and communication.

Let me be categorically clear: the mob violence at the United States Capitol was unconscionable and I condemn it in the strongest terms.

True growth comes from answering hard questions. Today, I ask open-ended questions for our community to ask each other:

·        As Americans, we have the right to peacefully assemble and voice our concerns to the government. If, during a peaceful, lawful assembly, there is violence and looting by a faction of radical people, do we then indict every attendee’s voice and motives? Should this be true for Jan. 6? Or even the majority of BLM gatherings last summer?

·        If we are government of the People, by the People and for the People, is it not important to make our concerns known? Even if our neighbor feels differently? Even if certain media tells us differently?

·        If we rename certain schools and take down some statues, is that trying to erase history or take away our ability to learn from the past?

·        If we believe there is reason to question our election system while others tell us the system is fine, why is it not  okay to verify the sanctity of the vote?

·        If a “moderate” person attends a rally where a controversial president is questioning election integrity, does that automatically negate what attendees believe to be valid concerns?

·        Are we at a point in our country and in our relationships where we no longer allow or are willing to consider the longevity of relationships and integrity as a point of respectful conversation, reason, or even understanding?

I am blessed beyond measure to live in the United States and on the Central Coast, in one of the most beautiful counties in California. But wherever we live, freedom has never been easy. We are headed down a difficult road and just getting started. We have misunderstandings, disagreements, and deep concerns that are dividing families and neighbors.

We can let the media divide us, we can lie to each other and give hate breath, or we can take the road less traveled in recent memory: we can communicate with each other and as my mom so wisely taught me, choose love.

So freedom-loving good people, come out, come out, whoever you are!


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kevin rise

True colors were shown, it took a while for the writer to “come out politically” and being Gay is normal, but what the writer did to travel during a pandemic, attend a Terrorist event, showed the writers disturbing thought process that IS Not normal. Rightfully so, clients said F this. Ethics over the dollar, sometimes a hard lesson when you have to fall hard down a hole and climb back out. I don’t blame anyone for ditching the writer. The writer needed to learn a lesson in Rational Thinking and consequences. Expect the FBI at your door, your neighbors watching it happen and a reality check, must be embarrassing.


shelworth

If you’re a Conservative all are guilty if a few riot. If you’re a Liberal/Progressive none are guilty even if most riot. They’ve had a constant riot in Portland, Seattle, etc. for almost an entire year and no one even notices or gets punished. Federal buildings, Police Stations, Court Houses are fire bombed but that’s not insurrection like the costumed buffoons that stormed the Capital.


mazin

THOUSANDS attack our nation’s Capitol, attempt an insurrection, threaten to kill lawmakers, claim ‘election fraud’ as a cover to commit treason, and you offer up a sad deflection … Antifa-Proud Boy-accelerator faceoffs in Portland and Seattle. Yes, those riots are also treasonous, but nothing compared to what far right did to our nation’s Capitol. True Conservatives need to stop making excuses for traitors.


Fleet

Stacy helped with health insurance when it was still affordable before Obama Care made it unaffordable. As for the liberals calling out conservatives as “racist”. Here is a short list of things you can search online. Reconstruction Era, Redeemers, Red Shirts, White League, Radical Republicans, which political group opposed the Fourteenth Amendment , Fifteenth Amendment and the Civil Rights Act of 1964. And don’t forget Joe Biden’s friend and mentor Robert Byrd Exalted Cyclops of the KKK.


Adam Trask

“Stacy helped with health insurance when it was still affordable before Obama Care made it unaffordable.”


So, it was better when 40 million people (as opposed to half that many now) didn’t have health care?


And, yes, yes, no one is denying that Democrats were the party of slavery and Jim Crow. I would suggest, however, that you read the history of the Democratic Party from the time of Harry Truman. It paints a picture of a party that slowly came to grips with its racist history.


And while LBJ may have been personally reprehensible, his legislation surrounding civil rights and voting rights were instrumental in bringing about the end of de facto segregation.


If you sincerely believe that the Democrats are really the party of racism, then you must believe that African Americans (and every other minority group) are either stupid or delusional, because 90% of them voted for Joe Biden.


commonsenseguy

More power to you young lady. The hell with the hater’s. They love wallowing in bitterness, anger and selective rage while gushing with blatant hypocrisy. Typical of the left.


mazin

The far right attacked and occupied our nation’s Capitol! Were searching for lawmakers to kill, after murdering and injuring officers!

Let’s deflect to maintain the superiority of our ideology … those calling out this treasonous attack on our nation’s Capitol are ‘angry’, ‘wallowing in bitterness’, ‘selective rage’, ‘gushing with blatant hypocrisy’, ‘haters’.

Yes, someone is.


commonsenseguy

Your barking up the wrong tree brother. I’ll say it again as I have multiple times here on CCN, both sides are equally at fault. The leaders of both parties and even the growing Socialist movement are ALL WORTHLESS COWARDS!!! I call them all out for what they are. They have all FAILED TO LEAD this nation for decades now. Both sides are responsible for the deaths and violence in this once great nation over the last four plus years not to mention the willing media and the narratives each of them want to promote on both sides.


The difference is I can see and admit the failure and demise of this nation, along with our the way of life, that all politicians are responsible for it. There is no representation for us any more. Name one politician from any party that hasn’t been part of our demise. It appears that you might be blinded by your own own ideology, self-arrogance and hypocrisy in this matter. Here’s to you turning over a new leaf. : )


mazin

OK, you disapprove of politicians and blame them for our ills. Interestingly, your argument could be used by both the Proud Boys and Antifa interchangeably. This is precisely my point. Both of the extremes are attacking our country. The extreme ‘far left’ and the extreme ‘far right’ are two peas in a pod. Each pointing the finger at the other while condemning our nation as a whole. We need to reject both, and see through their ploys to draw us in, such as “Stop the Steal”.

We are getting punked by the extremes.


commonsenseguy

Absolutely I disapprove of politicians, and yes, I blame them ALL. They all have fallen away as representatives of the people. Their only goal is to feed the greed for power and control of all things, and it doesn’t matter who they have to destroy to get it. Lie, steal, cheat. and blame others. Time to hold them accountable again, both parties including this newest regime of Joey and Kamel.


As for the media and their roll in all of this the last four plus years, they can all go pound sand. I would say we’ve been punked by them more than anything. I despised them all.


chocolate_addict

Judging by some of the comments you can see the hate and bigotry that the left has for people who simply have an honest difference of opinion. This web site is actually one of the worst offenders of freedom of speech and they allow Dell Franklin to write all sort of ludicrous stuff and when confronted with replies that expose his virulent dislike of people who don’t subscribe to his opinions those remarks are nuked by the moderator. But he is not subjected to the same rules that are required here. Anyway, I think if all of the advertisers here should tell the management they will pull their ads unless freedom of speech is allowed on this site. I think that would go a long to solving the problem, web site publishers will learn that they can’t go on indulging in this hypocritical behavior and perhaps your internet advertising dollars could go towards supporting a site that actually supports the fairness and honesty and civility that you are seeking. Thanks for a great article.


Wildrnes

Wow, what fascists rubbish. Trump lost, move on folks.


chocolate_addict

He did not lose, the election was rife with fraud, he is a movement bigger than the Republican party and none of us are going away. Democrats don’t go away when the lose, they just organize to more cleverly steal elections and get money from their billionaire backers,


mazin

Rife with fraud? Three recounts in Georgia; partial recounts in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, millions spent; 80+ lawsuits filed and lost, millions spent; AG Barr “no fraud”; Congress certifies the electoral college result; Fox, OAN, Newsmax all retracting election-fraud lies. Geeze,

Your ‘he did not lose’ viewpoint just demonstrates how badly Trump lost, and frankly, what a sore loser Trump is.


commonsenseguy

Kind of like the Dems, and the left-leaning media in 2016, that continued for four plus years. Interesting how people selectively refuse to see their own foot in their mouth.


mazin

commonsense, Wasn’t a Dem but am now, so I guess I finally reached one of your categorizations. Why? Sadly, the GOP and conservatism is unable to purge itself of violent extremists. They should take a lesson from Bill Buckley who distanced the conservatism from and, yes, ostracized Robert Welch and the John Birch Society back in 1962.


Jake

There was no attempt to “undermine election results” by the people going to DC to support the Members of Congress asking for an audit. If you think that an audit of the machines and ballots would change the outcome of the vote in the 6 contested counties, then you have made the case for the people who believe that the count may not have been correct and legal. I found the whole process so frustrating. When it would take a team about 60 hours to audit the ballots, machines, and tabulators, why the hell was anyone fighting that?! It was mostly Democrats, but a few key Republican’s in GA too, who refused to allow an audit that would have solved the issue entirely. The courts were gutless and a huge disappointment. They did not dismiss the cases based on the evidence, as the media is constantly misreporting, but for process. People who are whistleblowers and filed signed affidavits of what they experienced, have been completely ignored by the courts and law enforcement, and in some cases harassed. You should at least read what these regular citizen volunteers have written under penalty of perjury before dismissing everyone as conspiracy theorists. These are people from all parties, some who had volunteered in elections for many years. Watching their testimonies in the GA and Michigan hearings was heartbreaking. My experience tells me there is only one reason for fighting auditing the machines, ballots, and tabulators in the 6 counties. Could have been done in November and there would be no further issue. Could have even televised the audit! Open and transparent. If Biden won fair and square, then congratulations. But the Democrats and their media puppets decided that it’s better to shove a contested election down our throats and call us conspirators if we question, then allow transparency. Not a great way to solve a problem if you are trying to “heal” a nation.


MrYan

A self-serving article whitewashing your participation in a defacto White Supremest rally that led to insurrection at the Capitol won’t help to keep your remaining clients.

You are not a victim here. You lost business from people who rightly question your judgment, integrity, and patriotism.


derasmus

You and Wildrnes really need to stop with the labels. Your comments are akin to hate speech.


Come on man, stop the hate


MrYan

Come on man, stop the denial about Jan.6th.

I don’t hate Stacey—far from it, but I can be critical of her actions. I do hate racists though, and I don’t believe she is one of them.

But a simple truth in life is; if you lie with dogs you get their fleas.

You rally along with known white supremest organizations you may get their taint on you.

She wasn’t sorry for going to an event that ended up in insurrection. If she was it was hard to find in her text.

She’s just sad that she is paying a price for it now that she has returned home.


Wildrnes

derasmus, “hate speech”? Do we all have to agree with this right-wing gay cheerleader confessional and sympathy card? No. Again, let’s move forward.


calcoastdan

Wow. What a beautiful message, Stacy. It was honest, sincere, raw, and loving. I will keep my comments short, as there is not much I can add to your message.


The haters will hate, as is apparent by some of the comments already posted. But, I will say that as a “conservative” myself, it has been my observation that it is often harder for gays to tell their family and friends that they are conservative than it was for them to come out as gay.


Thank you for sharing. And thank you for standing up to be yourself and for what you believe.