Santa Barbara County publicizes tax delinquencies

September 3, 2010

The Santa Barbara County tax collector ran a full page ad outing property owners, such as Kathy Odell and Abel Maldonado, who have yet to pay their property taxes. [KSBY]

The full-page ad in Thursday’s edition of the Santa Barbara News-Press provided the names of about a thousand property owners who owe a total of almost $9 million. The County paid more than $2,000 for the ad.

Lieutenant Governor Abel Maldonado said he is not the Abel Maldonado on the list.

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Good idea easymoney. In fact, why doesn’t CCN publish the salaries and benefit/retirement packages of the employees in the SB County Tax Collector Department?

“Lieutenant Governor Abel Maldonado said he is not the Abel Maldonado on the list.”

Where have we all heard that one before? It turned out that it was the same guy, no?

How about they take out a full page ad and show all county and state employees, listing salaries, benefits and perks?

Dear citizens: This list from your friendly government includes people that we TRIED to rob, but they wouldn’t handle over their wallet immediately when told to. Shame on them! It’s as if they *actually* think that they had property rights and that this is a free country. You know what we’d like to do, we’d like to give them what they deserve which is a concussion from a wooden baton, and beat them until they are bloody and give up those dollars, buuut we know that would tick off so many people it might actually jeopardize our scam altogether… if we seemed too eager, that is.

So instead we’re going to start by publishing their names for everyone to see. You got robbed, why shouldn’t THEY? That’s just not fair is it?! Once enough time has passed, we’re going to apply the label DEADBEAT to them. It’s really a effective word, and plus, we just like the way the word sounds. If you emphasize both syllables equally when you say it, you can almost here the spite.

After we’ve applied enough demonization, and made sure that you don’t care about these people any more, if they still haven’t paid up, we’re going to start screwing with their lives. The cool thing is, though hit men often refuse to take jobs where women or children are involved, we really don’t give a rats’s behind, in fact it’s even more fun to screw with people if there are others that depend on them, because often those people will start to apply pressure for us. We do have to be a little careful if it’s a traditional nuclear family that attends church, because this could threaten our credibility (as if we had any!) But never fear, we just extend the “due process” a little for these people

Once their friends and loved ones have started to question them, we’re so close to the fun part that we can start to taste it. Actually I think that’s just a lingering taste from my 2 hour lunch. Either way, what we do is ultimately put them in some kind of situation where we can use the boys in blue. One great way is an eviction because then we can dig through all their stuff and find dirt on them. But if they’ve managed to keep their house, usually they’ll fall behind on something like..drumroll… car registration. See, we’ve got it covered.

And here’s where it gets fun. Once they are in this situation, still desperately holding on to that wallet as if they believed they were going to win this, they are usually so frustrated and broken that they will do something strange, all we need is a quick move of ANY body part, or a slow response, and we can tase the crap out of them! Oh my gosh these new models are so fun. You should see how it makes noncompliant losers TWITCH.

You might think it would be faster to just grab a gun, stick it to their head, and tell them to give us our wallet, but this is way more fun. With electornic debit, we don’t actually need them to give it to us voluntarily anyway, we just make them go through all of this to prove a point. And that point is , what’s yours is ours and don’t ever, ever screw with us.”