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We are the parents

January 31, 2023

OPINION by SARA SEMMES

Even as a homeschooling mom in San Luis Obispo County, I still can’t help but feel compelled to stand up against what is going on in our public schools. It just plain feels wrong to the core. They may not be my kids but they are still kids, another parents’ kids and another family. I can’t say nothing.

One of the plethora of parenting challenges is assessing what level of decisions your kids are ready to make for themselves. Part of preparing them to make those decisions is equipping them with the ability to assess risk.

Recently, I had a conversation with my kids about secrets. I want them to understand that no adult ever, not their grandparents, aunts or uncles, neighbors, teachers, coaches, no one should ever ask a kid to keep a secret from their parents. If they experience anyone asking them to do so, it should trigger a big bright red waving warning flag. Even if the secret doesn’t seem like a big deal, no secret is ok. Should they agree to a seemingly inconsequential little secret, a door is opened for a bigger secret next.

I keep coming across stories from parents about schools not telling parents if their kids are being bullied or having social or psychological issues at school, even when the parents are asking. Schools are also keeping from parents if their kid is experiencing gender/identity confusion, changing their names/pronouns, or undergoing mental health counseling.

So how are parents, who teach their children that it is not okay for any adult to hold a secret with them and from their parents, supposed to accept that their kids’ schools are potentially keeping secrets about kids from parents? Big secrets – secrets about their mental and physical health and safety.

When and who decided that schools know better than parents what is best for their kids? And what message does this send to kids, not to trust their own parents?

Are parents supposed to just quietly go along with this dissonant dogma that the schools know what is best for our kids? How dare the schools, the administrators, the teachers’ unions or board members (who rarely actually meet our kids), the teachers (that may have our kids for only an hour a day), how dare they presume to know what is better for our kids. How dare they keep secrets about our kids from us.

I decided what my kids’ first foods were and what makes up their current daily diet. I decided when my kids first got screen time, how often and when they are old enough for whatever version of scary movies. I have been the one to sleep in their room when they are really sick so I can monitor their oxygen. I’ve helped them through a scraped knee, a bee sting and the loss of a dear pet.

Protecting kids from harm or hurt is as involuntary a function of parenting as is breathing. I have yet to meet a parent who does not only expect to be in the know if their kid is going through something troubling at school but also to be their primary support system.

We are the parents. We decide what is best for our kids, we support our kids, we protect our kids. We are there for them for life. To steal this primary role from parents is to destroy families, and harm kids. It destroys the most intrinsic unit of support for our youth. What good could possibly come from that?

Sara Semmes is a mom and a home school teacher in Atascadero.


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Sounds like you’re a good mother, Sara, but without actual factual incidences and evidence that public schools are taking away parents’ rights or are somehow controlling students, I don’t see your point. While I’m not saying they don’t make mistakes, public schools are foundational to our society. For the most part, I believe they do a good job.


-34

If you want factual evidence you can easily Google the policy changes occurring in schools such as those mentioned above. You purport that schools for the most part do a good job, however state test scores from Atascadero High School for the 2021/22 school year showed only 47.24% met or exceeded the standard for ELA, and a mere 26.87% met or exceeded the standard for Math. The majority of kids are not graduating proficient in English or Math. Schools need to get their focus on basic education and leave the parenting to parents.


17

Think you’re worried over something that seldom exists.


-34

I strongly agree a parent has to have an open communication with their children to protect their children from the many many many harmful influences that are out there. The parent has to be able to sense when something is harming a child. The childs behavior will be different. The protection mode is good.


-9

The same Sara Semmes of the Central Coast Health Coalition?


Anti maskers, anti vaccine, not a lawyer, what other secrets are you not disclosing?


Are you a member of protect paso or moms for liberty?


Another opinion piece pretending to be written by a regular mom who try’s to explain the constitution to the LA city council, lol.


-73

Imagine thinking being anti-mask & anti-vaccine is an effective insult here in January 2023


64

History matters.


Also “Even if the secret doesn’t seem like a big deal, no secret is ok.”


Here she is “is a mom and a home school teacher in Atascadero.” , this is what you say to sway opinions as opposed to being truthful with disclosures about history and who someone represents.


The opinion pages of local media are full of “i’m just a simple someone” when in reality they are members of groups with larger agendas, rpslo for example.


Secrets instead of disclosures.


-41

Within a few weeks of enrolling her daughter into preschool in another California city, my colleague was shocked when her daughter started talking about gender and how she could actually be a boy. Mind you, she is four years old and has no access to the internet. My colleague confronted the preschool teacher, who denied talking to her daughter about gender. Wisely, she removed her daughter from that preschool.


53

That happened…….


-7

When schools feel its their responsibility to teach children things that are best taught by parents what subjects get shorted because of that?… it appears the subjects that gets reduced time in the classroom are American History and civics….


57

“When and who decided that schools know better than parents what is best for their kids?”


“I keep coming across stories from parents ”


35

“Every high civilization decays by forgetting obvious things.” GK Chesterton


47

Yes, mainly their values.


36

Understanding the value of empirical data versus that of anecdotal data may be useful to you before you begin to “teach” the modules that relate to; science, math, and critical thinking. ;-)


-53

“Empirical research is research that is based on observation and measurement of phenomena, as directly experienced by the researcher. The data thus gathered may be compared against a theory or hypothesis, but the results are still based on real life experience.“


;-)


8

Do you have any specifics? I’ve and everyone else has seen so many claims about what’s happening “somewhere else” like schools, workplaces etc. also, the source of the information. I have 2 children, 6 grandchildren and step children and ANYTHING can be claimed. I was a manipulator as a teen when it came to schoolwork, cutting class etc. just because we’re parents gives us a Legal right to many things, but have you seen the way adults have been acting? There are parents that believe the earth is flat, and the wacky claims in politics. Just being a parent isn’t a good defense. I agree that no one should ever tell a child to keep a secret from a parent unless it’s a surprise like a gift or birthday surprise. It’s also a test of loyalty.


Once a guy asked me if I thought he was too strict on his kids. We’d known each other for a short time. I told him I appreciated him making sure his kids understood that they are held accountable and, he and ONLY he (mom was out of the picture because of drugs) were looking out for the kids. Everyone they’ll ever meet will want something FROM them whether it’s a laugh at their joke, money, honey, accompaniment or validation of some sort but HE’S (Dad) the only one that wants THEM to shine. They were happy, polite, respectful and I told him “Bravo.”


15

“and ANYTHING can be claimed.”


Yes, that masks don’t work for example.


2

Or that systemic racism is real.


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